During my short stay, I had a chance to pass by a beach side on the coastal route – National Highway 17 passing through Trichur in Kerala. It was not a popular spot to attract tourist but had many fisherman folks living there. The heavy monsoon had taken its toll on the day I passed and almost all the boats and catamarans from the area were lined up neatly as they were unable to go out to the sea for fishing. It was beyond there means and many of them who had ventured out on that day had to return half way because of warning from Weather department and Coastal authorities. Even at these adverse situation, the fishermen projected a courageous and courteous smile and watched and joined the few who had come to watch the violent sea.
I include a forward from Vijayakumar, Dubai which is very apt when we think of how each situation we come across in life can be handled with poise, graise and determination. Enjoy reading the same:
90/10 secret – Understand and apply the 90/10 secret. It will change your life!
What is this secret?
10% of life is made up of what happens to you.
90% of life is decided by how you react.
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.
1. We cannot stop the car from breaking down.
2. The plane may be arriving late, which throws our whole schedule off.
3. A driver may cut us off in traffic.
We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90% !!
How? ….By your reaction.
* You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction.
* Don’t let people fool you, YOU can control how you react! Let’s use an example….
You’re eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over.She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs you find your daughter has been busy crying, and so, is not able to finish breakfast and get ready for school.
She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15 minute delay and throwing rs 200 to the Cop as fine…..
In the evening, you look forward to going home. When you arrive home you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why?Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the Policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is ” D “.
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened:
” Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say “It’s OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time”. Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase. You come back down in time look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss before you both go to work. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the
staff. Your boss comments on how good of day you are having.” Notice the difference.
Two different scenarios. Both started the same way but both ended differently.
Why? Because of how you REACTED !!!
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% is determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 secret :
If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don’t have to let the negative comment affect you!
React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out, etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound the steering wheel? (A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off!) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the blue car ruin your drive. Remember the 90-10 principle, and do not worry about it!You are told! you lost your job. Why lose sleep or get irritated? It will work out. Use your “worrying” energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger, etc. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
You now know the 90/10 secret. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results.
“Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open”