The thrill of breaking rules!
6 Dec, 2007, 0119 hrs IST,Pramahamsa Sri Nithyananda, TNN
This is a true incident. A young man was addicted to smoking cigarettes. He asked for my help. “Master, please help me to quit smoking. I don’t know how I became addicted. Please help me.”
I asked him, “How did you start smoking?”
“Master, I never wanted to smoke. In fact, I hated that smell,” he said.
“One day, I was talking to my friend on the street. My friend was smoking a cigarette. My father saw this from a distance. He thought I was smoking. When I went home, he started yelling and shouting at me. He did not listen to me. Then I decided, how does it matter if I smoke now? I have already been punished for it. I then started to smoke.”
We all get a thrill, a feeling of adventure, satisfaction in doing what we are not allowed to do. When we are asked not to do something, we feel a strong urge to do it; we feel provoked to do it. We feel a kind of joy and satisfaction in doing it. This is the basic tendency of every human being.
When there is a strict rule, we always try to work around it, go beyond it. How many of us drive fast until we see a cop? We say no to our parents to prove that we are now grownups. We think that we become adults only when we say no. Adults have the power and authority to veto anything by saying no. By saying no, we assume that we also have become adults.
We feel that as long as we say yes we are only children. We feel that we are not mature. When we say no, we think, we assume, that we have become adults. We think that we have become mature. This is the basic tendency of every human being. We feel that we have matured into adulthood, become men or women, simply by saying no to our parents.
In western countries, that is why there are so many rebellious groups, gangs, and other problems. These people develop a deep satisfaction in and taste for saying no. Saying no is almost like an addiction. When we say no, we try to prove that we are someone special. We feel by saying no we become someone different.
Breaking rules will not make you an adult. To be an adult you need an understanding of what you do and why. Only then, even if you break a rule, will you do it without guilt.